Think Out of the Box

Photo Credit: Psoup216 (Creative Commons)

Photo Credit: Psoup216 (Creative Commons)

I interviewed my friend Helen Turner recently about the topic of expectancy and managing your expectations. She knows about expectations especially her expectation to have a family. After her oldest daughter was born, she couldn’t get pregnant for over fourteen years.

1. How many children did you and your husband want?

When I was growing up, I wanted four children. After I got married, I changed to wanting two, a boy and a girl. After I had my daughter Kisha, I planned on having one more, hopefully a boy.

2. During the struggle, what happened to your expectancy for another child?

When I was in my late thirties, I kind of gave up. I thought I wouldn’t get pregnant again. My mom seemed to have the same problem. She had two children right away, then couldn’t get pregnant for another nine years. Then she had three close together, then nine years later, she had one more. So I grew up feeling as though I was in a family of three, since I was born in the second group. My two older siblings were grown and gone out of the house as I grew up.

3. What caused you to find your hope after giving up on having another child?

After I gave up hoping to get pregnant, I had a wonderful dream. I was either 36 or 37 years old. In the dream, I was in the bed, playing with this cute, little baby girl. I said, “who’s baby?” Someone said, “your baby.” It scared me so bad that I woke up. At first, I thought, that’s just a dream, but it planted a little seed of hope in my heart especially hearing that voice saying, “your baby”.

4. How long after your dream did you get pregnant?

It was about two years later. In one way, I was surprised I had to wait that long after the dream, yet in another, I was thinking, it’s just a dream.

5. What helped you remain in hope about getting pregnant?

I was praying a lot, asking God for a child. It helped that I already have one child, and I was satisfied with her. I didn’t get consumed with talking about it all the time.

6. What’s interesting is that you expected a boy once you got pregnant. 

I don’t know why we thought that, perhaps because we wanted a little boy. When we found out we were having a girl, the dream came back to my mind. I was excited about having a girl. When Krystal was born, I was shocked because she was the baby in the dream.

Once your child is born, you don’t care what the sex is. I was thrilled to have Krystal. She’s a blessing. The good thing about having my daughters so far apart is we never had a babysitter because my oldest daughter Kisha was fourteen years old. She served as a second momma to Krystal and loved to babysit her.

7. Anything you want to leave the readers with regarding expectations? 

Don’t put God in a box because all things are possible. We can limit God when we put him in a box, thinking it should be done in the way our minute mind thinks it should be done. But God is so much bigger than that. Only way you can think out of the box is to read the Word of God. Everything in the Word of God is out of our dimension, thus why the natural mind doesn’t understand it. We try to put God in our dimension, but God’s trying to put us in his dimension.

What helped me to distinguish the two dimensions better is when I started looking at where I was and where God is. Only way you can see God’s dimension is through faith. You have to believe, but it takes a foundation of building a relationship with God.

Thank you Helen for sharing your experience and how you managed your expectancy.

What have you learned when you stopped putting God in a box? Please share in Comments below. Thank you.

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About the Author


Friend of God. Writer. Resting in His grace daily.