Love As It Should Be: My Gift From God

Note: In honor of Valentine’s Day, this month I am featuring posts about real-life love stories. Kathy Pooler, who has written two posts for this community, writes today’s guest post. I found it fitting that she should share her love story with us since she had written about how she overcame two dysfunctional marriages in her guest post on August 12th. I enjoyed reading today’s post especially seeing how God answered her prayer and redeemed her past.

 

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 1 Corinthians 13:13: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love…”

At the age of forty-six, twice divorced and with two teenaged children, I figured finding love again was probably not going to happen. Since I had escaped two emotionally abusive marriages over a span of twenty-five years, I decided that I could live without a man and be happy. It was freeing, especially when I left Richard in the café a few days ago. We had been dating for a few months when I started paying close attention to his too-close–for-my-comfort relationship with his mother and his strained, distant relationship with his two children.

But, somewhere, deep inside, I still held out a glimmer of hope for a man who would be worthy of me.

A few nights after leaving Richard in the café, I asked God to send me a stable, caring man in time. I wrote it in my journal. And if he wasn’t stable and caring, I was willing to live without a man. But I had to know he was from God and not from my own desperate need to provide my children with an intact family life.

Three days after writing in my journal, my friend Fran and I went to a single’s dance at the Polish Community Center. I had been going to those Friday night dances for over a year. A few men had stumbled my way, and I dated them casually and sporadically. But as soon as I figured out they were not for me, I’d take action and leave. I had finally learned. The worst thing in life was not being alone. The worst thing was to be in a relationship that was not working or was not right for me.

One day I convinced two of my co-workers to join me at the evening dance. Fran’s boyfriend, Henry, an immigrant from Germany, slipped away from us women as we gathered around Fran and him between songs. As the four women stood in a semi-circle chatting about the awkwardness of being single again, Henry led a tall, ruggedly handsome man to our circle. Then Henry left.

“Hi, I’m Wayne,” he said, reluctantly.

I sidled up next to him, leaned in and held out my hand, “Kathy. Nice to meet you.”

I had seen him before and had been attracted to him but I never gave it any more thought.

I took notice now as he had a quiet, wholesome look about him, like the Marlboro man from the 1970s commercial, only without the cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Dressed casually in a plaid shirt and corduroy pants, he immediately struck me as someone I could approach if I was ever in trouble; an earthiness that put me at ease. His eyes were soft blue and kind, and his smile gentle with an edge of shyness. I felt my pulse in my throat and wanted him to stay beside me.

We chatted among the group until Wayne and I began talking to each other. Soon the others faded into the background although they hadn’t moved from the semi-circle.

I was intrigued but reluctant. I had recently vowed to not get involved with another man for a while. Leaving Richard in the restaurant three days ago had left me with the sense of empowerment about finally being able to walk away from a relationship sooner than later. Finally.

“Would you like to dance?” Wayne said.

“Sure.”

My sense of ease, lightness, and excitement that night as we floated in harmony on the dance floor felt like an indication that there would be more to this.

Over the next few months, I would be the one who balked at the hint of love as Wayne pursued me. Until one day when he called and said,

“Are you going to go out with me or not?”

The relief I felt with his willingness to be honest and forthright convinced me in an instant as I allowed myself to trust the flush of love for this man coursing through my veins.

“Yes, Wayne” I said, “Absolutely yes!”

We married on October 27, 2001 nine years after meeting at the dance and six weeks after 911. He has proven himself over and over again to be my greatest gift from God, an answer to my prayers and the love worth waiting for.

2001

Kathy and Wayne at their wedding.

How has God redeemed your past? Please share in Comments below. Thank you.

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Kathleen Pooler Bio, 2014

Pooler Final Cover

Kathleen Pooler is an author and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner. Her memoir, Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, published on July 28, 2014 and work-in-progress sequel, Hope Matters: A Memoir are about how the power of hope through her faith in God helped her to transform, heal, and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments: domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.

She lives with her husband Wayne in eastern New York.

         She blogs weekly at her Memoir Writer’s Journey blog: http://krpooler.com

You can connect with Kathy on social media:

Twitter @kathypooler https://twitter.com/KathyPooler

LinkedIn: Kathleen Pooler: https://www.linkedin.com/pub/kathleen-pooler/16/a95/20a

Google+:Kathleen Pooler: https://plus.google.com/109860737182349547026/posts

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4812560-kathleen-pooler

Facebook:

Personal page, Kathy Pooler : https://www.facebook.com/kathleen.pooler

Author page: Kathleen Pooler/Memoir Writer’s Journey: https://www.facebook.com/memoirwritersjourney

Pinterest (http://www.pinterest.com/krpooler/)

            One of her stories “The Stone on the Shore” is published in the anthology: “The Woman I’ve Become: 37 Women Share Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment” by Pat LaPointe, 2012.

            Another story: “Choices and Chances” is published in the  My Gutsy Story Anthology” by Sonia Marsh, September, 2013.

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About the Author

sarahsoonwriter

Friend of God. Writer. Resting in His grace daily.

Comments

  1. Dear Sarah, it is an honor once again, to be your guest and participate in your Valentine’s Day tribute. Thank you!

  2. Lovely Valentine story! My “Wayne” is Carebear Cliff – just the right fit: stable, caring, and godly.

    My story: http://plainandfancygirl.com/2013/03/19/how-we-met-carebear-cliff/
    Thank you, Sarah, for hosting Kathy today.

  3. Aw, Marian, I love your “Carebear Cliff” story. You nailed it–“just the right fit.” Thanks for stopping by..

  4. An absolutely beautiful love story by one of the loveliest friends I have!

  5. This story brought tears to my eyes, Kathy. You endured so much in two bad marriages. It must make Wayne all the more precious to you. I love the way he asked you if you wanted to go out with you or not! Wayne reminds me of my farmer father, who was a great caretaker of the land and of him family. Happy Valentine’s Day.

    • Aww, that’s sweet, Shirley. Wayne is precious to me, a salt of the earth caretaking farmer who has been well-worth the wait. I feel very blessed. Thanks so much for stopping by. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Stuart!

  6. Kathy,
    I am so thrilled you found your true love! Thanks for sharing your empowerment story of walking away from what isn’t right for you, which looks like opened the door for the right one! 🙂 Congrats!

    Be refreshed,
    Dawn Herring